I think I enjoy beginning a painting much more than finishing one. At the beginning I have a blank canvass and many ideas and possibilities in my head. I can paint anything, there is potential in it. But after I have begun I feel as if the further I go on it the more I am limiting myself, I feel as if I am committing myself to every brush stroke I lay down. Then I realized today that that is only because I'm not taking risks, or big changes that I feel that way. I'm scared to improve something because it's already passable and I'm afraid of ruining the little good I have. An artist I admire said, in words to this effect, that he would rather ruin a passable painting by trying something that might improve it than staying with a mediocre painting. That was inspiring to me and so with this last painting I did make a dramatic change that I wouldn't have done formerly. I would probably tried to keep going with the composition that I didn't like while all the time thinking about a painting I would do next and differently. But I changed it and got rid of one of my favorite parts entirely, and now I like the whole painting.
So I'm learning to take risks and not be afraid (or too lazy) to change something if I think that it could be better. I try to believe that if I can see something that could be better, then I can make it better. And, this way, I will probably learn to like to come back to a half finished painting just as much as I like to come at a new canvass, because when the story is not yet over anything can happen!!
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